I was not welcomed by anyone on my first day of school in the States. Name-calling made me feel even more like an outsider. I was teased mostly because of my "skinny" legs. My defense: Wear long pants for the entire first year whenever I was out. I changed myself into someone else whenever I left the house. I constructed an armor that kept opponents at bay at least until they found something else to pick on.

This isn't a pity story. It's a lesson I want to share. It's a lesson about being who you are in all areas of your life. It's a lesson about consistency.

We've all worn "masks." For some of us, the masks become so much a part of who we are, that we forget where we are sometimes, and whether we still need to wear them. Changing who we are depending on the situations we're in can get confusing. We unconsciously choose friends, jobs, social circles and even venues that conform to our morphing view of ourselves. It's true that as humans we are multifaceted. But the reality is: We fit in, simply because we are here.

For years, I allowed my skewed vision of myself to go on. It got to a point where even in my mid-twenties, I still chose to wear certain outfits that were inconsistent with who I really was, just to fit a character I played and a group I wanted to be part of. I'd created a persona that walked, talked and even ate like the complete opposite of myself. That was until I realized that no matter how hard I tried on the outside, when I was alone, the inside became even more confused. Who was I really?

To this day, I know that the spirit of my ancestors saved me. I found myself, on more than one occasion, on the brink of living too fast for my own good. I came very close to losing not only myself, but also my life. We all have spirit guides that watch over us and "save" us when we're too close to the edge. Even if our own ori (conscience) gets clouded, our spirit guides can see clearly. No matter how much we think we know our exact purpose in life, there is a destiny and a journey far greater than we can fathom.

Practice Block: Add one more reason to look at yourself in the mirror each day. Instead of just making sure you "look okay," use a bit of that time to do a self-check. Still looking, ask yourself who you are and answer as honestly as you can in that moment. Write your answer down. Repeat every day for 2 weeks. Review your answers and note any changes, variations or patterns.

Being ourselves, consistently and honestly brings us closer to understanding ourselves and that destiny as it unfolds. We begin to relax in the knowledge that even if we can't define or describe it, we can feel it's existence. We become courageous and speak our minds. We walk taller, we take better care of ourselves. Our partners and social circles naturally begin to compliment who we truly are. We sleep better at night. We learn to love.

"It is only with light that I will greet each situation. I will not judge, nor tamper with what naturally is in order to feel empowered. I will allow my power to rise naturally from a place borne of positivity and without assumption. I am at peace allowing everything to be as it is." Love.

This week's mantra from Earth Sense Now: "I see myself as perfectly imperfect and a reflection of something much greater than myself. I will remember to grant myself peace with the greater and lesser parts of myself without feeling boastful in one or inadequate in another. I will accept that all are part of the whole that make me beautiful. I will accept this beauty as balance." Love.

"I will listen deeply to my soul and make all my choices from that place. I will accept that options only confirm the dynamic presence of Spirit, and remind me that life holds many wondrous possibilities. I will give from my heart and without expectations. I realize my place in the Universe as unique and divine, but also as part of an intricate tapestry where my part is vital and crucial to making it all work. I was created with intention and purpose and will live with intention and purpose." Love.

Picture this. You're starting your day out and feeling pretty even-keeled. All areas of your life aren't necessarily a bed of roses, buuuuut, you can deal.  Somewhere during the day you get some mind-bendingly fantastic news. This news is the kind of thing you've been waiting to manifest for a long time and just puts your mood over the moon with exhilaration. (insert your news here). The hours go by and everyone from your mom to your middle school buddy, whom you really only communicate with on Facebook, knows. To top it all off, they've all given you gobs of kudos and well wishes. You're pumped!

(Enter Ego)

You want to celebrate in a way that justifies your accomplishment. In all of that, you are justified. However, it's what happens to your personality that's the key to all of this. If we're really tuned in with ourselves, we can begin to notice our behavior while in the midst of all this "Yayyy meee" stuff. This is a critical time in our process as earth-centered folk. In my experience, the behavior change can appear in different ways. It can come as an extremely hyper mood, or maybe a shopping spree without concern for how it will affect the household budget. Maybe, it can be a partying spree complete with some form of inebriation and little to no regard for what you're saying or doing. However, it presents itself, it's a form of ego. Ego over-reacting to be more specific.

We deserve to treat ourselves. We deserve to celebrate our victories. We are truly worthy of whatever good comes our way that has been earned and well-rewarded. We don't deserve to let it consume us to the point of straight trippin' out. Really.

An over-reactive ego can surface in the stream of victory or defeat. The flip side is that the news you got during the day that stirred you up, was bad. Something in the message affected you and your angry, defeatist side came out. Your reaction: Over-reacting and venting carelessly not only because you truly believe that your truth is THE truth, but also because you want somebody to care enough to listen and pay attention. 

(What Happens Next?)

Whethere in victory or in defeat, there is such a thing as ego overload. The day we're on top of the world and feeling like life owes us, could be the day we go overboard and make a huge mistake or miscalculated judgement that could send us off course or cause irreparable harm. We may say something insensitive or ignore the needs of a friend because we're in self-only mode. The day we're in a low energy cycle and venting carelessly, could be the day we say something we can't retract. That something could result in a loss of a friendship, or even a job.

We're responsible for ourselves, our actions and our words throughout any day. It's wisdom to put care and awareness into how we react to our victories as well as our defeats. Our gift back to the very Universe that creates and sustains us is, to be aware of who we are, what we say and what we do. All of us are in charge of taking care of this collective existence. We're human, and as such, reactions and over-reactions happen. We should love ourselves enough to remember to first sit, breathe deeply, listen (to our inner self mostly) ...THEN act. The emphasis in that last sentence is on LOVE.

When life isn't going our way, it's very easy to sink into hopelessness. In fact, it's easier to let go and sink than it is to grab hold and stay up. Here's a quick thought for you. Even in those sinking moments, you may think you're not going anywhere, but that's not true at all. Even sinking is movement. It's not necessarily in an upward or forward direction, but it is movement. That sinking movement is where our revelations are born. It's where our 180 degrees and fresh starts begin.

Here's the deal: There's nothing wrong with doing nothing, but there is something wrong with expecting something from that nothing. You only get what you give. So if you wake up and wonder why you don't have enough love in your life, or enough friendship, or enough opportunities for growth, ask yourself first, have I given those things? If the answer is "no", then you've got some work to do. You need to get the store and pick up some Kleenex and a notebook and invest in losing your ego, asking yourself the tough questions and giving yourself the 100% honest answers.

If you do less over time, you'll have less real progress. Why? Progress is moving forward and you have to lose your desire to give up or stop in order to get somewhere. Each time you stop or stall, you have to start over again. So you can choose to move in circles or to move forward.

All this work requires the willingness to subdue your ego and be humble. Humility is a byproduct of doing real self-exploration. One of my martial arts training mantras comes from Tai Chi master, Chen Man-Ching and states, "Invest in loss." I've chosen to use it as a mantra for life and the inspiration for this blog entry.

Truth: If you haven't lost, you won't know true gain and if you haven't lost you probably haven't given anything.

It seems that very often when we identify success, we see it as something that hasn't happened quite yet. And if it has, we see it as missing some element to make it complete. We can call this a struggling perfectionist attitude or we can call it greed. Whatever name we choose, "it" is already happening.

Where we are is exactly where we are supposed to be right now. In a lot of cases, there's nothing wrong with that place. If we step away from media influences and silence our minds once in a while we can eliminate the temptations, the confusing messages, the subliminal call to own more, be more, do more.

This is a journey for all of us. If we are fortunate enough to identify what we need to make us happy and if we are blessed enough to have those things, then we've already achieved what most people on this planet haven't. Let's not forget that most people on this planet are in poverty, starving or passing away at the hands of forces who have no regard for life.

If you've awakened every morning this week, you're blessed in a far richer way than many. If you've been able to walk around your home to get ready for your day, indeed you are blessed. Taking a look at our lives from the minutia to the grandest aspects is our duty and our birthright. Don't take it for granted and most importantly, don't take it without giving something back.

Here's what we need to know, the mind is not a playground to be taken lightly. It is indeed a powerful capacitor. We can resurrect, create, project, produce, reflect and transcend ANYthing just by using our mind to cultivate a particular energy. Sit with that for a moment. Breathe it in. You can truly overcome and achieve ANYthing if you only set your mind to it. You can also block yourself in if you're not careful.

For example, have you ever picked up on the energy of folks who show bits of jealousy and envy, but smile through it or use humor to hide their true meaning? Those actions are not only blocking them but blocking others out as well. No amount of lip service and projections of false happiness can remove or cloak that. Our minds are the true indicator of what we're really allowing to thrive and what we focus on, grows.

Conditioning the mind takes time. Turning on or off a way of thinking doesn't happen immediately. There's no magic pill or switch. What there is, is a decision to commit yourself to conditioning or re-conditioning the way you think. This happens by clearing out the clutter and the unecessary mindsets in order to really take in the fresh thoughts. Meditation is the purest way to accomplish this transition. Consistency is the key. Add to that process positive mantras that you create or admire that reflect the beliefs you want to embody. Do this with sincerity and virtue and the actions follow. If you focus on peace and positive acceptance, that's what grows.

Give yourself time. Be patient with the process. Don't jar or startle your mind, just get to know it a little better, set a calm and gentle pace, then start the journey.

(Photo courtesy of Flickr)

Here's my sunray for the week. Abundance is just as much about giving as it is about receiving. After listening to all the experiences that were shared this week, the constant take-away is that the people who are genuinely expressing warmth, joy and gratitude for having received abundance, are also the ones who've given of themselves and their resources in some way. Every action is part of a greater cycle. What if the cycle begins with giving and encourages humble, kind and just downright simple actions toward one another? We all share our existence on this planet and sustaining that existence comes from a mutual give and take. In other words, sow first, then reap.

Abundance is happening all the time, all around us. We can either suit up and do our part to create it in our own individual ways, or sit and watch the game. Regardless, we're all playing in the same arena.

portableiyabode: Daring to dream your biggest dream involves daring to realize its closer than you knew. #befearless
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Daring to dream your biggest dream involves daring to realize its closer than you knew. #befearless

— Shelly Iyabode (@earthsensenow) August 24, 2011